As a birth professional, I know how important it is to find a caregiver that shares your birth philosophy. As soon as we confirmed our pregnancy, I contacted three different caregivers. We found one who's philosophy was very close to ours and felt we could relax and enjoy the rest of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, do to some personal problems, we were notified at 36 wks into our pregnancy that she would no longer be able to attend our birth. We were lucky to be able to find another caregiver, someone we had not met with previously and who was still available for our birth. In hindsight, it was actually a good change. We immediately clicked with Valerie Downer when we first met with her at Diversity midwives in Scarborough. Her quiet, reassuring presence and respect for our right to informed consent, convinced us that we needed to work with her.

I woke up at 5am on the morning of October 23rd 2003 with contractions every 20 minutes. I have trouble sleeping and going back to sleep was not an option, although I did lay in bed for awhile. I had been experiencing cervical discomfort for the last few weeks of my pregnancy and really tried not to get excited that the baby would be coming today. I actually woke up having one of those days were I felt like not doing anything. Not a good way to start labour!

I had always gone late with my other children, ten days with my first, seven with the second, seven with the third and twelve with the fourth. I was surprised that things could be starting only two days after my expected due date. I didn't tell anyone right away that I was in labour, things were mild and contractions well spaced so I knew things could still stop. I tried to relax for most of the day, knowing that the birth could go well into the night. I sent the kids off to school and my husband headed to work for the day. I enjoyed a quiet day at home with my youngest, lazily getting some last minute laundry ready for the kids. By the afternoon, I contacted James and he came home early. I had walked during contractions with the last four births, a coping technique that had worked extremely well for me. However, when James and I went for a walk that evening I told him that the walking was having no effect. The timeline for the rest of the birth is really an approximation, I wasn't looking at the clock!

Things continued to get stronger throughout the evening and I decided to contact Valerie at around 1am. I have had four other children and been present at many other births so I thought I had a good idea of my progress. I had not intended to have Valerie check my progress but when she arrived with her student, Edie, I requested it. I was shocked to learn that I was only 1-2 cm. With my last three babies, including Benjamyn, they have not descended into the pelvis, even during labour. Not uncommon for a woman who has had many children. This could have been contributing to the slow progression, there was not a lot of pressure against the cervix to encourage it to efface and dilate. Valerie and Edie left and I sent James to bed, I knew it was going to be a long night.

The contractions continued strong and steady throughout the night. I tried to lay down between but just couldn't sit still during a contraction. I laboured alone most of the night and finally went to James in the morning asking him to contact Valerie again. By this time the contractions were very strong and close together, although they would space out whenever I rested.

Valerie and Edie arrived. Edie checked me and said I was 6-7cm. I was again surprised and started thinking of ways to speed up the labour. I presented the option of breaking my water, discussed it with Valerie and Edie performed the procedure.

 I decided to get in the labour tub, we planned to have a water birth. Again, the water had always helped with my other labours but just didn't seem to work for this one.

By this time Wilhelmina had arrived to look after the older children and Natalie had arrived to provide labour support. I got out of the tub and walked around again. I was low moaning, OOOOPEN, OOOOPEN, over and over. James told me after that he thought I was saying OH...Ben. At this point I was feeling overwhelmed. I had never experienced a labour like this and was really confused. The contractions I had been feeling for most of the morning were comparable to the transition contractions I had with my other births. I was exhausted and really felt I could not cope any longer. I started to talk about transferring to the hospital and having pain medication. Everyone seemed surprised. I surprised even myself!

I was very firm in my birth plan that there is no way I would ever transfer for pain medication. I had left strong instructions with my husband to refuse them at all costs. I had never felt this kind of pain, that lasted for so long. I just was not coping! I was still feeling like I just didn't want to be in labour today.

Edie, the student midwife, had done a community placement with a homeopath that we both knew. She asked if I would be interested in trying a homeopathic remedy. I had taken a couple of classes with Piper Martin, the homeopathic doctor, and felt I had a basic understanding of homeopathy. I did not believe in it though and had not practiced it for myself, although I had seen it used successfully with some of my clients. I consented to a remedy and knew that my state of mind would be taken into account when deciding on a remedy. For the first time I told my birth team that I really didn't want to have a baby today. Again in hindsight, I probably should have mentioned it earlier! Edie offered me a remedy and within a few minutes I actually felt my spirit return. I would have further remedies throughout the rest of the labour (I think 3 or 4 in total) and was pleasantly surprised to have them help each time.

A fellow birth professional had mentioned a technique of vibrating the labouring woman's thighs or hips between your hands during a contraction. It was reminiscent of the old machines they used in the 20's that wrapped around the hips/buttocks and vibrated. I would use this technique successfully right up until the birth. I also remember a technique I had read in Ina May's Guide to Childbirth where the mother blows air through her lips, allowing them to vibrate. It was like an exaggerated raspberry or horse-blowing. This too would help me cope with the hours of intense labour I would face.

So there I was with a completely new set of coping techniques and they were getting me through. The hours seemed long and short at the same time. My birth team was great, respecting that I needed to be alone with James and quietly entering the scene when they were needed. I would asked to have examinations, to check my progress a few more times, often without much of a change being noted. Valerie had to leave that morning and Nicolle Bennett stepped into the role of midwife. Hilary Monk also arrived to act as the second midwife, although I really don't remember seeing her until after the birth, she did a great job of respecting our quiet, private environment. I stayed in the shower almost constantly. Even when we ran out of hot water, I didn't even notice because the water wasn't even on me. James pointed out that it must have been the sound, the environment that comforted me.

I found that being a birth professional and going through birth myself had it's advantages and drawbacks. Advantages because I understood the terminology, could draw on my experience and was familiar with many different coping techniques. Disadvantages because I wasn't always able to get past the contraction to think like a doula! I still needed my team to remind me of many things. For example, I had little to eat after 1am on the 24th. By the morning my team was getting concerned about my energy level. My midwife, Nicolle, noticed that I had ketones in my urine. Often a sign of the body not having enough energy. Nicolle and Natalie immediately started encouraging me to eat. As a doula I knew it was important once she mentioned ketones but as a doula I should have remembered to eat before it got to that point.

Early afternoon came and I again requested to be examined. As soon as I lay down on the bed I could feel the baby's head 'pop' out of my pelvis and mentioned it to Nicolle. Of course when she checked, I was again still at 9cm (had been for most of the morning). I asked if she would examine me the next time while I was standing. Back to the shower I went and Nicolle came to check me after a few contractions. This time I was 9cm with a lip of cervix still in the way. I had experienced this with my last two births and knew that the lip could be moved out of the way by Nicolle and I could then push past it. We moved into the bedroom, so I would be close to the tub and I asked Nicolle to try and move the cervical lip. It was painful but it worked.

Benjamyn was born in the afternoon on October 24th 2003. It was wonderful!

The family all gathered around, we felt so loved and supported in a safe and comfortable environment. In an effort to enjoy our new baby we decided to have a babymoon. Much like a honeymoon it is a time to spend alone with the new baby with no visitors or responsibilities. For three days we spent time as a family, getting to know and love our newest addition. I decided to take my own advice with this baby and I stayed in bed for five days. Not an easy task with four other children.